Students Accidentally Discover “Lawyer Gene”

Lab students testing blood at the University of Arizona have made an accidental discovery: the aptly titled “Lawyer Gene”.  And what is this thing, you ask?  A mutation found on the 13th chromosome that is reported to develop the qualities of stubbornness, combativeness, and the desire for wealth in a human being.  And guess what?  It’s most predominant amongst the blood samples of corporate lawyers and those studying to be lawyers.  Extensive tests have lead to further results.

Now this is illogical, right?  Think again.  Psychology professor Mitch Chiplittle suggests that a behavioral pattern in the mothers of future lawyers most likely causes the mutation.  Such mothers have recently been prompted to fill out comprehensive form questionnaires and now Chiplittle conveys, “Immediately it became clear that these women were cut from the same cloth.”  A common occurrence has been singled out: during the seventeenth day of pregnancy, each of these mothers stumbled upon a homeless veteran and refused to hand over any spare change.Students interested in Pre-Law are being asked to submit their GPA, S.A.T. scores and a blood test along with a personal statement.  But is this fair?

Want to learn more about this heretic material?  Check out this Nonsense News Article now.

So what do you figure – is the Lawyer Gene a hoax or do you truly believe that it’s a common occurrence?  Think Atticus Finch was afflicted?  Give up law for a tap dancing career yet can’t stop watching Law and Order reruns?  Maybe it’s time for you to get tested.  Comment below.

Kenneth G. Marks is a Personal Injury Lawyer serving Orange County California for over 30 years.  He’s getting lab tested tomorrow: